Gender equality and the myth of paying 50/50: my thoughts
I’ve heard many times men saying they want to pay the bill 50/50 on the first date because we live in times of “gender equality”. This is the same argument they use to explain the reason they avoid expressions of kindness, such as buying her flowers, picking her up at home, offering her their jacket, opening the door for her, etc. To my mind, there is a misunderstanding regarding the true meaning of gender equality.
Gender equality* does not deny the biological differences between men and women. Equality lets people be seen as human beings — with dreams, struggles, desires, feelings, and ideas — and claims that everyone has the right to be happy, regardless of their gender. Equality predicates that there will be social and cultural conditions to make a person be seen and treated as a person, no matter if this person is a man or a woman.
Performing small acts of kindness every day reinforces the unique qualities of human beings. By treating others with care and respect, we acknowledge their humanity. These acts of kindness also serve to bring happiness to others. Promoting gender equality does not negate the differences between the sexes. In fact, it may even strengthen them in some ways.
Coming back to the “50/50 problem”: when you are interested in and like someone, would you try to make this person feel loved and happy? I guess the answer is enough to get my point.
*I don’t like the expression ‘gender equality’, I prefer ‘gender equity’, because equity considers the individual differences among people. However, ‘gender equality’ is a term well accepted among academics.
Disclaimer: Please note that paying the entire bill on the first date does not necessarily imply that the man will always pay for everything. The decision to split expenses should be mutually agreed upon and take into account the income and lifestyle of both individuals, as well as other unique circumstances.
